I won't be able to release the soft body at this stage as although it work well runtime on exit there is a few hickup.
in (VS) release. it crashes on exit.
int (VS) debug it exits ok.
running (.vld) in (VS) debug mode it runs fine but on exit it pulls a :
HEAP[3Impact_Physx_Project_Debug.exe]: HEAP: Free Heap block 8d844a0 modified at 8d844c8 after it was freed
Windows has triggered a breakpoint in 3Impact_Physx_Project_Debug.exe.in the deconstructor i can comment out "releaseReceiveBuffers();" and it exits fine from both release and debug but
useing .vld (visual leak detector) it has memory leaks.
so I've wasted a day trying to find the problem but have no idea so scrapping soft bodies for now.
the same thing happend with cloth but I was able to remove the need for all related data for :
void releaseReceiveBuffers();
void allocateReceiveBuffers(int numVertices, int numTetrahedra);
void releaseMeshDescBuffers(const NxSoftBodyMeshDesc& desc);
so that issue was cleared up pretty quickly. but with softbodies it was no dice. oh well someone else will have to take over there.

moveing on to joints.